Roses and Tears
by Gilly Bean2
Summary: After Tara's death, the scoobies hold a memorial service to remember Tara. The past is forgiven. Complete


Roses and Tears

**By Gilly Bean**

**_An: This has been posted before, but I have edited it a bit, and decided to repost it. I hope you all enjoy it. This fic was an award winner for a challenge back when I wrote it a bit over a year ago._**__

Buffy was standing in her room, looking down at the bouquet of roses on the bed. She didn't know where to take them, because Tara wasn't buried in town. After things with Willow, they had been unsure of what to do for a memorial service, and Tara's family had come back and taken care of matters for them.  
  
Taking in a deep ragged breath, Buffy sat on the bed next to the roses, and gave in to the tears once more. She had promised herself she would be strong, for Willow, for Dawn, and for the rest of the Scoobies, but right now, it was her time, her time to grieve.  
  
Buffy held the roses to her, letting her tears slid over the silken petals. Finally, she pulled away, and wiped at her eyes. Everyone would be here soon, she thought. They had arranged to meet in the back yard, and talk for a while. She wasn't certain what they would talk about, but everyone had unresolved issues to confront.  
  
Buffy stood up, and walked to her door, though she stopped in the doorframe, and glanced back at her desk. Draped over the back of the chair was Spike's duster. She hadn't seen him since Willow had gone black.  
  
She closed her eyes briefly as the roses in her hand brushed against her leg, the stems held upside down. It was so much grief, and such a little amount of time for it all to have happened. Shaking her head sadly from side to side, Buffy looked up and opened her eyes, then left the room quickly.  
  
  
  
Downstairs, Dawn sat on the sofa, flipping through a book of photographs Tara had purchased not long ago. A coffee table book, she had called it. The photos were tranquil, peaceful settings of waterfalls, winding brooks, flower filled meadows, and sunlit forests. Dried tears marked Dawn's cheeks, showing her grief to any who would look upon her.  
  
Buffy took in a deep breath, steadying herself for a moment at the base of the stairs. She felt herself wobble just slightly, her hand clutching the banister tightly. She steadied herself, and walked over to Dawn.  
  
"Dawnie, sweetie… It's time. Everyone will be meeting us out back. If... if you need some time, first, that's fine. We'll be there for you, though." Buffy placed her empty hand on Dawn's shoulder, and squeezed gently.  
  
Dawn looked up from the book, and gave Buffy a sad hollow smile, then looked back down at the coffee table book. The picture shown was a two-page spread of a small mist filled meadow, with a small creak running off tone side. Near the top of the page, the sun peaked through, and caused a bright rainbow.  
  
Buffy nodded gently, understanding that Dawn just wanted her time alone first, and she slowly walked out to the back yard. She opened the door, and saw Willow sitting quietly on the back steps.  
  
Since the incident, as they referred to it now, Willow had been staying at home with her parents, and seeing a therapist daily. The Scoobies were reluctant to put all their trust back in her, but what they lacked in trust, they made up for in faith. Willow would come back to them they had faith in that.  
  
The sun had just set, leaving a pale darkness shrouding the yard. Near a large tree in the back, Buffy had set up a large bouquet of flowers, all bright colored ones. She couldn't remember now what Tara's favorite had been, and that had nearly torn her apart when she had stood at the florists that morning.  
  
It was the little things like that, and it bothered Buffy, not knowing if Tara had preferred daisies to roses, or lilies over carnations. Did she like red? Or was pink her choice for flowers. She had finally sat down in a chair the florist offered, and cried quietly for a few minutes, then asked for something bright, and cheerful. Something that would remind Buffy, and hopefully the others, of Tara.  
  
Xander and Anya arrived separately, but within moments of each other. Anya had wandered in first, dressed in black from head to toe. She held in her arms a bouquet of white roses. Seeing the small bouquet Buffy had sat near the tree, Anya moved towards the back and sat hers there.  
  
Silently, she came up, and sat next to Willow on the steps. Buffy went next, and placed her red roses on the opposite side of Anya's. As she came back, she noticed that Willow had changed. Her hair was once again a thick black color. The effect was startling, and made Willow seem pale, more pale then was normal.  
  
In Willow's arms, she cradled a photo she had taken of Tara the spring before, when everyone was still happy. Tara was smiling at the camera, and smelling a single white daisy she held in her hands. Willow had gotten the photo made into an 8x10, because she loved Tara's smile in it.  
  
After Buffy had sat, Willow stood, and slowly walked over to the tree. Kneeling down at it, she placed the photograph right in front, propping the frame against the flowers. As she as standing, Xander walked in. His arms were barren, his hands shoved into his pockets. He looked at Willow, and pulled the hands free, then held his arms out to her.  
  
Without thought, Willow rushed into them, and he held her tightly against his body. Her sobs could be heard through out the small yard. As Xander held her, he rocked gently back ad forth, his eyes closed, and his face turned towards the heavens. A single tear dripped down his cheek.  
  
He slowly walked her to the bench he and Buffy had been sitting at that fateful day. They sat quietly, secluded in their own world; Xander to comfort Willow, and Willow to mourn her lost love.  
  
As Buffy watched the two, she didn't hear the new comers enter the back yard. Anya noticed them first, and ran towards them, eager to have someone to hold her. Buffy saw the movement from the corner of her eye, and turned. She gasped softly, and looked on at the 3 me standing back there.  
  
Anya had run straight into Giles' arms, and her face was buried against his chest. He patted her back gently, and his lips were whispering out soothing words of comfort, though no one else could hear them.  
  
Beside Giles, Spike stood, and beside him, Clem. Buffy ached to go to Spike, as Willow had gone to Xander, and Anya to Giles, but she couldn't make herself move. She had known before hand that it was a possibility that he would come, and she had asked only that everyone respect the day, and not argue over anything. It wasn't their day, it was Tara's day, and she deserved that much.  
  
Instead of rushing to Spike, she looked away, and wiped at the stray tear that had trickled slowly down her pale cheek. Buffy finally sat down on the steps, and waited for someone to say something. She wasn't even certain anyone would, but she knew she didn't want to be the one to break this silence.  
  
The only sound that was coming from the yard at all, was the muffled sound of Willow crying on Xander, and Anya on Giles. Spike looked at Clem, then they slowly went over to the tree, and both kneeled down in front for a moment. Spike slowly brought his index and middle finger to his mouth, kissed them, and then placed them over Tara's face on the photograph.  
  
  
  
From upstairs, in Willow and Tara's old room, Dawn looked down. She couldn't bring herself to walk down the stairs, and out that door. She couldn't, because if she did, it meant she was gone, really gone, and Dawn didn't want that to happen yet.  
  
Her fingers trailed over the newly repaired glass, and her eyes drifted shut. She could still see Tara, lying there, blood covering her. She shivered and forced her eyes open. She couldn't think about, she just couldn't. Running from the room, Dawn grabbed her backpack from in her room, and then took off down the stairs, and out the front door.  
  
  


Spike stood up, and looked down at the photograph one more time, then walked to the back stairs. He ached to comfort Willow, but Xander was doing that, and he had a good idea what would happen if he walked over there right then. Instead, he went to Buffy.  
  
Buffy had been holding it together, Spike knew from her past that she would do anything she could to take the hurt from anyone else, and shoulder it herself. Spike hated that she let herself hurt so much, just to save the others from it. He came up in front of her, and looked down. His face was drawn, his muscles straining from the tightness in his cheeks.  
  
"Buffy, luv, you don't have to be strong right now. No one will blame you if you aren't." His voice was soft, almost a whisper. She looked up at him, and stared at his eyes for a moment. She searched them, eager to find hate in them, but she didn't. She saw only love, and so she nodded.  
  
He sat down next to her, and in front of them, Clem sat. He put his hand on Buffy's knee, and rubbed it for a moment, as though to reassure her that he was there for her. She placed a hand on top of his, and squeezed, then curled herself up, and let her head sink against Spike's chest. She would let him comfort her today, would let him hold her, and love her. She wouldn't worry about what the others thought, because she wanted it, and she would have it today.  
  
Spike's arms went around her, yearning to protect her from this pain. He softly kissed the top of her head, and let her cry when the tears came. In front of them, Giles had brought Anya over closer, and he had sat her on a bench opposite of the one Xander and Willow sat on.  
  
  
  
Dawn ran nearly all the way to Janice's house, and then cut through several back yards, until she ended up panting tiredly in Janice's back yard. No one was home, he knew they wouldn't be, but Dawn had needed a place to go. She walked up to their back porch, and sat down; finally letting her sobs get the better of her.  
  
"I'm so sorry Tara," she sobbed over and over again. Her words were muffled, and broken by the sobs she was wrenching from her system. She had cried a lot since Tara had died, but she hadn't allowed herself to let everything go, and to just sob like this.  
  
One by one, the Scoobies all quietly left the back yard, no one having said anything. Willow and Xander were the only two left in the back, completely wrapped up in comforting each other.  
  
  


Inside, Spike and Buffy sat talking, while trying to make sense of the terrible things that had happened. Clem had long since gone home, and Giles was walking Anya back to the Magic Box. Buffy hadn't realized Dawn was gone until a moment later, when Dawn walked in quietly through the front door.  
  
She looked at Buffy, and smiled just a bit, the empty hollowness gone to a small degree. After smiling, Dawn walked upstairs, and lay down in her bed, quietly falling asleep on her bed.  
  
  


In the back, Xander was rocking with Willow, holding her gently, and whispering softly to her. They were reminiscing about when they had been so much more innocent, back when they had been in high school with Jesse, and the big bad creatures of the night were just scary stories that kept them up late at night with nightmares.  
  
The old high school had finally been torn down, and Xander talked a little about it, as his crew had helped with it. He tried to bring Willow out of her deep depression, but he didn't feel it was helping much.  
  
"Will. I know it hurts, but I promise, it will get better. I can't promise you when, though, or how, but it will. You just have to come back to us." He said the last bit softly, then hugged her one last time, and kissed her forehead before leaving. He left quietly, and Willow went over to sit next to Tara's Tree, as they had named it. She wrapped her arms back around the picture, and lay down, resting her head on the deep red roses.  
  
  


Xander walked down town, wanting suddenly to see and hold Anya. He found the door to the Magic Box still open, and he went in. Rather then finding her, he found the main level empty. The light to the basement was on, and so he went do the stairs, slowly and quietly.  
  
He came into the small room no one had used much before, and found Anya had set up a small bedroom of sorts. She was lying on the bed, sleeping peacefully for the first time in a while. Giles was sitting in a chair next to her, his hand holding hers.  
  
Xander nodded briefly to Giles, then left the Magic Box, and went home.  
  
  


Spike waited while Buffy went upstairs to gather her slaying supplies. His thoughts moved to the night in the bathroom, but he was loath to bring the matter up, especially seeing as Buffy hadn't yet brought it up. She came down the stairs, her bag of stakes draped around her shoulder, and his duster on her. The arms came down a few inches past her own, and the back of the duster dragged behind her like the train to a morbid wedding gown.  
  
Buffy smiled up at him, and he noticed the light was back in her eyes. "You forgot this." she told him softly, then let the coat slip from her arms, and she handed it to him. He smiled and slid into the familiar coat, letting the leather comfort him.  
  
They left, walking slowly down the street. Both noticed and pointed out to the other that the neighbors on Buffy's right were moving out. The house looked oddly empty, and there was a for sale sign in front. Sighing, Buffy shrugged. It was a normal occurrence on the Hellmouth.  
  
They walked quietly into the night, ready to protect all the sweet and innocent people of the world, ready to do battle for all the Tara's out there. But mostly, they took comfort in each other, and spent their time talking about Tara.  
  
  
  
The next morning, Buffy found Willow curled up on the sofa, a white rose and a red rose in her hand. When Willow opened her hand a bit, Buffy saw the roses were tied with a section of Willow's cut hair. She sighed softly, and leaned down to kiss Willow's forehead.  
  
Overall, they all felt that there was a lot of closure from the memorial service, and each one walked away feeling a bit better about their own grief. As they all walked on their separate paths, Tara looked down, Joyce at her side. They wore smiles that spoke of their pride, and their love for the many people who had touched their lives.


End file.
